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Thank you for visiting our website. Martha Therres has moved to Gilbert, Alden, & Barbosa, PLLC, in Burnsville, Minnesota. She can be reached by email at martha@gilbertalden.com. You can call her at (952) 300-2937 or (651) 757-8009. IF you do not email her at her new email address, or call her at one of these numbers, she might not see your correspondence.

Category: Divorce

Free Tool — MN Child Support Calculator

Here’s a reality that surprises no one: Money can cause problems for people. I know, I know … shocking, right? Money often drives wedges into relationships and continues to be a pain point after they end.

One of the biggest money issues in divorce is child support. Sometimes the struggle comes from a parent not making the payments even when they can afford it, while other times the payments are unfair to one party. These are only a few challenges that can arise with child support.

If you’re planning on getting a divorce, either through mediation or the court system, it’s important to go into it with a child support plan if possible. But one thing you need to be cautious about is paying for something readily available, like a child support calculator. 

This might sound weird coming from a law office, but there are plenty of attorneys out there who are untrustworthy. They’ll claim that you need to pay them in order to get something simple, like rough numbers for child support estimates. This is pure crap. It’s a scam.

You don’t have to pay an attorney for the simple use of a child support calculator. Instead, use this free child support calculator! Specifically, it’s the Minnesota Child Support Guidelines Calculator.

While this calculator isn’t going to provide the 100% guaranteed number you or your ex will have to pay (no lawyer can provide you that with a consultation either), it’s a great resource that can help you in your divorce planning.

About Us

At Therres Law Office, our team is welcoming, caring, and collaborative. We offer a comforting presence while providing helpful guidance from a place of genuine respect and appreciation.

You can trust that we’ll use our experience to help you feel safe and confident as you negotiate terms that affect the most cherished aspects of your life. Call 952-226-2223 now to schedule your free consultation!

What’s an Annulment? [Things You Need to Know]

We get this question a lot, so we figured it would be a good idea to have the answer right on our website! If we want to look at this in a simplified way, a divorce ends a valid marriage, while an annulment erases it. When a marriage is annulled, it’s treated as though it was invalid and therefore never legally existed.

What is the difference between annulment and divorce?

Divorce can end a marriage fairly easily, and irreconcilable differences are accepted as valid grounds in Minnesota. Annulments, on the other hand, require very specific criteria to be approved. Basically, the marriage needs to be found invalid for an appropriate reason.

Valid Grounds for Annulment

  • Bigamy (When one spouse is already married when they enter into the new marriage).
  • The two parties discover they’re relatives (Incest).
  • A spouse is not legal age for marriage.
  • One spouse has hidden important information from the other before getting married (Drug addiction, major illness, a child from a previous relationship, etc.).
  • And more.

To successfully get an annulment, one of these factors needs to be proven in a court of law with witnesses, which makes an annulment harder to get than a divorce. In addition, annulments are different from divorces in that there is no division of property or spousal support

Considering an Annulment or Divorce? Contact Us For a Free Consultation

At Therres Law Office, our team is welcoming, caring, and collaborative. We offer a comforting presence while providing helpful guidance from a place of genuine respect and appreciation.

You can trust that we’ll use our experience to help you feel safe and confident as you negotiate terms that affect the most cherished aspects of your life. Call 952-226-2223 now to schedule your free consultation!

A couple sitting on a couch talking with a mediator.

3 Important Things to Know About Mediation Services

Divorce is overwhelming. It has a nasty reputation. But you know what? It doesn’t have to be a brutal court battle. If you and your spouse are level-headed and willing to work together, you might not even have to bring lawyers into it at all.

If a marriage is ending but both spouses are willing to collaborate to find the best outcome, then working with a mediator can be enough without getting courts involved. If mediation seems like a good idea for your divorce, then there are a few things to keep in mind…

1) Mediation is Required Before Divorce in Minnesota

Parties are required to attempt Alternative Dispute Resolution unless there is an Order for Protection. So, if you’re in Minnesota, you have to meet with a mediator before you get a divorce whether you want to or not.

It might be frustrating initially, to say the least, but please give it a fair try. You never know, there could be a way to work through your differences and plan the divorce without needing to hire attorneys.

2) It Can Be a Good Option for Many Couples

Once lawyers get involved, couples are no longer in control of the situation because the legal teams are in charge of building their cases. On the flip side, mediation services give people the chance to keep an honest, steady line of communication.

With mediation, you and your spouse can control your situation and make decisions that work best for your lives. You can plan everything about your divorce, including financial decisions, division of property, child custody, future expectations, and more.

Mediation services are also far more affordable than going through the standard court-based divorce process, which is a definite plus!

3) Choosing the Right Mediator is Crucial

I can’t stress this enough—Not all mediators are alike! Just like lawyers, there are good and bad ones out there. You need to make sure the mediator you hire isn’t there to control the situation. They need to be even-tempered and ready to let you and your spouse steer the conversations.

Considering Divorce? Contact Us For a Free Consultation

At Therres Law Office, our team is welcoming, caring, and collaborative. We offer a comforting presence while providing helpful guidance from a place of genuine respect and appreciation.

You can trust that we’ll use our experience to help you feel safe and confident as you negotiate terms that affect the most cherished aspects of your life. Call 952-226-2223 now to schedule your free consultation!

Picture of a mother and her daughter.

Dealing With Divorce [Parenting, Coping, & Personal Growth]

In December 2018, I posted the following on Facebook, referring to conversations with my then 9-year-old son:

Christmas, 1 year into Co-Parenting

Tad: Can I take this [present] to Dad’s, Mom?

Me: No, Sweetheart. What if you forget to bring it back or what if it gets lost? If it’s a really special one, maybe we can get you one for his house?

Christmas, 8 years into Co-Parenting

Tad: Can I take this [present] to Dad’s, Mom?

Me: Only if you promise you will pick up all the pieces right now, BY YOURSELF,  and it never comes back.

To my surprise, this post has almost as many “likes” as the best snapshots of my children. People loved it. I noticed much positive reception from fellow single parents and from grown-ups who were raised in blended families.

They had all been there. They got it. They understand that things that felt important early in the blended family journey become less important as the years pass by.

It illustrates a point that I strive to help my clients see as early as they can: The way you feel about co-parenting during your divorce is not the way you’re going to feel about it several years down the road.

I cannot promise things will be better. I do not assume things will be worse. But I am confident in saying that the concerns you’re having now will not be the same concerns you’ll have in five years.

Being a Parent After Divorce

I used to haunt a lot of ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) classes when I was single-parenting my eldest. I was almost always the sole single parent in the room.

As we parents sipped our coffee and went around the table supporting each other, my classmates were wonderfully compassionate about the unique issues I brought to the table.

I will never forget a class where I had tears saying, “I just feel like I’m not 100% mom anymore.  I’m 50% mom. I’m only mom half the time now. But I don’t feel that way. I still FEEL like I’m mom all the time but I don’t get to see him!”

A class participant told me her parents were divorced when she was four years old, and she does not have substantial memories of them parenting together before the divorce. She said, “You are thinking that way, Martha. But your son isn’t. My mom told me she worried about those things when I was growing up. But I didn’t. The thought that she could be 50% mom never even occurred to me.”

Coping With Divorce is a Unique, Personal Experience

Your divorce is exactly that — YOUR divorce to experience the way you experience it. There is no right or wrong way to feel about the tragic end to a marriage that you had profound hopes would last for a lifetime. But again – the way you feel now? It is how you’re feeling. Right now.

You can be the most compassionate, empathetic person in the world, and the pain of going through a divorce will still make it nearly impossible for you to notice anything around you other than your hurt. That’s not a bad thing. It’s normal.

I’ve Been There. I’ve Experienced It. I’m Here to Help You.

Why am I devoting an entire blog post to calling attention to the discrepancies between what you’re feeling now, what you assume others are feeling, and how you’ll feel down the road?

Because while you’re getting divorced, you have limited chances to make decisions that are in support of (and the hope for) the “you” who will emerge in years to come, rather than the reactive “you” who is terrified of the unknown you’re facing.

When you come in and meet with me, I’ll gently talk you through the discrepancies between what is important to you now, and what is likely to be important to you in the future as you’re living your awesome life.

I want to help you make decisions that will benefit you and your family in the long term. Because the unknown? The perceived financial ruin? The deep grief and loss? These do not need to be in your life for the long term.

Let’s work together to get those painful feelings addressed in your present, so you can leave them behind for a bright, bright future. 

About Martha Therres, PLLC

Martha is a jiu-jitsu-practicing, crochet-rocking mother of two awesome boys and four cuddly pets. She is also the founder of Therres Law Office.

Martha is proud to say that she has experience as both a lawyer and as a client. Whatever you’re going through, she has likely experienced something similar. She will get it.

When you work with Martha, you’re not getting an attorney who will stoke flames to collect more fees from you. She truly wants what’s best for your family.

Negotiating a path to move you forward into your new life is something she’ll handle as if it was her own family. After all, it WAS her own family at one point. She is passionate, ethical, trustworthy, and knows that family law is not just her career. It’s her life force.

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